Public Speaking 101: How to Emphatically Enumerate Things ...

By SkitSketchJeff, Saturday at 11:07 pm

Nothing?s worse than a pompous lecture ? unless you get to give it and your audience can?t duck it. (I.e.: small children, employees with uncertain job security, the uglier person in a couple). But even the most semi-tolerable lecture can verge on unbearable if the speaker inexpertly tries to add emphasis by counting his points off aloud.

So take your enumerating skills from sucky to scintillating by following these 10 titanic tips:

1.) Never say ?let me spell it out for you? and then start with ?number one.?

b.) If any item requires jabbing an index finger into someone?s sternum, lead with that. It?s the perfect No. 1.

Tres) Never count in Spanish and then expound in English. It?s a douche move and you know it.

__.) Don?t accidentally skip or repeat a number. People will think you?re either an idiot or, worse, a Texas?governor.

5.) If you have a prosthetic hand, refrain from counting off on your fingers. Way too distracting.

5.) If you have real hands, always start a ?hand count? with your thumb. Never a middle digit.

7.) Avoid enumerating in front of royalty. They?ll demand to sleep with someone very close to you.

Last) Don?t go cute by throwing in a thrice,?pi or reference to 5 as a nickle. The biggest dick in the room will always call you on it.

9.) At some point, precede one number with the motivational phrase, ?People this stuff ain?t rocket science.?

Oh, and also) If you must count along using your hands, don?t yank so hard you accidentally break a finger. This will send you to the ER and leave people wondering where you were going with that whole list thing.

SkitSketchJeff is Jeff Burdick, who loved when face tattoos were just a fun way to prank friends who blacked out at parties.

For more?FluffingtonPost Top 10 lists, click here.

Source: http://www.chicagonow.com/fluffington-post/2012/12/public-speaking-101-count-on-one-hand/

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