How To Deal With Stepchildren ? 8 Effective Ways To Deal With ...

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The modern family architecture is much more complex than it used to be in the olden days. It is not as simple as ? man, woman and children anymore. Sometimes, people marry for a second time after divorce or death of their former spouse and welcome a new mother or a father (wife or husband) in their families.

It has become a common practice now. We all accept it as part and parcel of our everyday life and try and adapt as much as possible to it.?One of the touchy topics of today?s times is how to deal with step children once you become a part of their lives. It?s such a tricky topic because step children can often be very different people from ourselves since they don?t share our genetic traits and thus we might have to deal with opinions and ideas that are quite contrary to what we had at that age or any other age.

But at the same time we are interested to show our love and concern for them but sometimes just lost on how to effectively communicate those things. And so I present eight points on how to deal with step children in the most effective manner possible in order to have cordial relations with them and live at peace with them under the same roof.

Tips To Deal With Stepchildren

Always Consider them as your Own

The main point here is that you always have to consider them as your own. And that means love them in spite of whatever faults it is that they might have. Children have a way of sensing emotions and if you can build that intense motherly love in yourself, it just might be enough to turn them around to your side.

Do not hesitate in letting them know that you have accepted them and that you would love for them to accept you too. Be patient about it though and never, ever make the mistake of being over bearing in the process.

Treat Them as Unique Individuals

Each child must be treated as an individual with their own specific taste and personalities. This is really important in building a relationship (especially a mother- child relationship) with anyone. The reason is that the person who you?re trying to approach might be of a whole different nature.

So always remember that it?s just as hard for them. See their special qualities and bring them to lime light. Focus on what they are best at and let them know that you see their best and appreciate the same.

Ask Them for Input and Suggestions

Another way to win their trust is to ask them for their suggestions. It does not matter what the topic is but the point is that you should ask for their opinions. You never know, sometimes they could have something that you yourself would?ve never thought of on your own.

When you do not know how to treat them or how to react or are unsure about what you would be doing might be liked by them or not, in such situations, go to them and without being nervous or hesitant, ask them as to what the best thing for you to do would be in the said situation on hand. Hear them out. Follow what they are saying and show that you respect their opinion.

Value their Opinion

Everybody loves when their opinions are considered. Step children are no exception. It would be tremendous for a child especially to see that their opinions are being taken seriously rather than taken as the whims of a child. This form of communication will help strengthen the relationship.

Like mentioned above, it is useless to ask for their opinion if you were not going to consider it in the first place. Hence, show them some respect by respecting their opinions. Follow what they are saying and do as they asked you to do.

Also Read

Tips on Step Parenting
Becoming a Step Parent
5 Steps to Deal Problems With Parenting
Step Parenting: Tips to Be a Successful Step-Parent

Understand their Problems

Try and find out what is it that bothers them. Try and understand their world as this will surely help you to understand their problems. And once you find out what they are only thing that remains is corrective action. Do not judge them or preach.

Just understand their situation. Be in their shoes and try to feel how they are feeling. You need to be understanding and supportive and not judgemental. This will surely bring you both closer than you are. They would get to see you as their mother or father figure if you would do so.

Share your Insight

Share your viewpoint and life experiences with them. It might seem trivial to both at first but they should always have the feeling that you?re there for them with your valuable insight and suggestions at any point in their life.

This will help you in getting to know each other better. It will also help in avoiding misunderstandings.

Talk to Them

This has to be the most important advice I can give, and that is to talk to them. It doesn?t matter if they resent it at first but they?ll grow used to it. This is the only way to build a strong emotional bond with a child or any human being for that matter.

Love as Much as you Can

It indeed can be hard at times to deal with step children but one must always remember that they might just be children who?re scared at having to face a different and abstract world compared to the one they were used to. Only tender love can bring them around.

When you become a part of someone?s life in a manner such as this situation, it becomes for you and the children, as well, to tackle the situation in the sanest possible manner. Thus, you or the children might say or do things that you should not have otherwise. Do not lose hope in such a situation. Things happen even when you do not like or want them to. Do not be discouraged by this. Follow the above mentioned eight points and you and your step children are bound to get along well in a cordial manner.

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Source: https://www.ayushveda.com/magazine/8-effective-ways-to-deal-with-stepchildren/

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